Hello and welcome.
My name is Dawn and I struggle with a number of mental health challenges: borderline personality disorder of the quiet variety with avoidant PD traits, social anxiety, generalized anxiety, PTSD, and depression. Good times! Especially navigating anything in the social realm. (Understatement).
The thing is, I keep this all hidden as best I can. It’s a secret. And I’m very good at keeping secrets. I’ve had a lifetime of practice.
But over time, my voice has gotten pushed down and down to the point where I’m not sure I even remember how to use it anymore. Am I even important enough to presume it’s okay to speak and give expression to my thoughts? Do they matter? Do I? Can I manage to find my voice buried deep down and force it out? I figured I’d give it a shot to come out and talk about the really deep down stuff that no one can see beyond the small ripples at the surface. This feels scary and vulnerable to me, but also necessary.
Bear with me, as my voice has become rusty with disuse.
And so I take the first step on this journey…